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Writing and fanfiction by president-m-blue


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September 4, 2008
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  • Mood: Helpful
  • Reading: HP & Deadly Hallows (not HP sauce)
  • Watching: The Simpsons & Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
My definition of original manga is it MUST be UNIQUE, FRESH AND ENTERTAINING. There are unlimited ideas of
how to make original manga plot that no one will ever think of it...so I'm going to teach you how to make it!
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(1) What do you like? (Can be ranged from objects, people, hobbies, sports, game etc)
Well the reason why I ask you this question is because I want you to write / draw something you enjoy a lot:D If you like more than one thing, you can combine them to create a masterpiece!
*** Sample Answer***
I normally enjoy clubbing with my friends and I love listening to music. During the last summer vacation, we visited some of the nightclubs in the Mediterraneans and I quite like it (except the hangover part!). So since DJs, nightclub & music is something I like, I can create a plot about a music-loving person who wants to become the world best DJ so (s)he competes with other DJs in the nightclub, competition etc
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(2) Which timeline you want to set the plot in?
If you were in the timemachine, which year you would like to travel to??? Also make some research if you want to make your plot realistic.
*** Sample Answer***
Well, since I want to be realistic, why not set in 2002 (random guess)? It's going to be ridiculous to set in the Middle Ages: peasants might burn DJs if they hear their music...you never know...
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(3) What type of world does the plot occur in?
It depends what type of mood you wants to set in your story plot. Also, it depends which readers you are targeting on. This time you determine the genre(s).   
*** Sample Answer***
Well, I like my story to be targeted on young teens, so I want to add a little comedy inside my plot. Also I want my plot to be set in the real world, as I want my protagonist to travel all around the world to compete with other DJs (like Beyblade, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yakitate Japan etc). So the genres of my story is music, adventure and comedy.
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(4) Describe your protagonist and his/her goal.
If you want it to be original, you must make a original character!! It doesn't have to be a character that everyone like. Also your protagonist does not have to be a good person...you can even write a story about a evil person (this idea is still fresh)... If you're planning to make optimistic, food-loving, stubborn, stupid and straightforward character like Goku (Dragonball), Naruto (Naruto), Luffy (One Piece) and Natsu (Fairy Tail), then FORGET ABOUT IT!!! In a short term, everybody will get bored of these type of characters since these personalities are repeated over and over again for MORE THAN 20 YEARS!!!
*** Sample Answer***
Well, I want my character to be a pessimist and hardworking. He enjoys whistling (showing a bit of a carefree personality) and he is neither clever nor stupid, just average...After gaining supports from his friends, he decided to be the world best DJs.
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THAT'S ALL, I think... GOOD LUCK with your manga-making process :)

Due to workload, I am unable to help you with your manga making process. I'm really sorry about that :(

But here are the resources / articles I found useful (and even better than my poorly written journal):

for rpg, shounen, fighting, science fiction, fantasy plot
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Link 1 , Link 2 , Link 3, Link 4, [link]
for shoujo, romance plot
-----------------------------
[link], [link]
other helpful ways to get the decent plot
------------------------------------------------
[link], [link], [link], [link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconpinkspace101:
PinkSpace101 Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks, I'm making a action/fantasy/adventure series about a group of kids has to find 15 shards of the Ujinite crystal in order to seal the dark king before the world goes into complete darkness.
Reply
:iconmizalrajesh:
mizalrajesh Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I have many ideas but the are very short . This journal was helpfull thx.
Reply
:iconrinkagamineily:
RinKagamineILY Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
But what if you have more than one "Main character"?
Reply
:iconmahounekoshoujo4:
mahounekoshoujo4 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2013  Student Artist
This is very helpful.
Reply
:iconeclair1998:
Eclair1998 Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I already have an amazing plot, and right now i am working on the outline. However, I don't want the outline to be drawn. Some people told me to write the outline like skit, but I ended up writing it like a novel. O_O Any suggestions on how to organize my story? I don't want to have to worry about the laying out of the story drawing wise, at  least not now. Thank you in advance.
Reply
:iconbillyvnus:
BillyVnus Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2013
What if there was a planet where humanoid type insects exited, the world would be full of odd plantation almost like Avatar. The way they behave and abilites would be the same just exaggerated. The Story would be about one simple Ant named Tomu. Ive heard that Ant's can pick up 50% more than what they weigh so I would make every single ant have a certain hidden strength with the concentration of their aura. The first few chapters would be about his day to day life until A swarm of giant Hornets Attack and destroy the Colony. Only 5 of the Hornets came that day lead by a captain and their power was more then enough to obliterate every single one except Tomu. He some how manages to open his hidden strength defeating one of the Hornets in an instant, but not without being stung one time. Weakend by the poison, Tomu collapses breathing slowly and on the brink of death. The Hornet Captain leaves with the 3 remaining Hornets believing the young Ant would eventually die. The Next Morning Tomu awakes from a one week sleep to notice his destroyed colony and the wound given by the Hornet completely healed. Traumatised by this event Tomu begins to walk into the LARGE grass that this planet has to offer. He breaks down and promises to avenge the Colony that took him in at such a young age. His goal was to find That Captain Hornets nest and Destroy everybody in it as they did him. He would travel through the world learning about his strength/martial arts from different insects and different colonies until he makes it to that nest. On the way there he would fight Wasps, Flys, Fire Ants, Mice, and After making it to the Hornets nest and defeating them he would only face stronger opponents, Hawks, Snakes, Spiders , Poison Dart Frogs, poisoness plantation and last but the least "The Human" would be the Final and most powerful enemy. Would this story work and what would you change?
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:iconbrookekohaku21:
BrookeKohaku21 Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2013
If you look on my account, I've already created manga pages for my story (though the pages are kind of confusing), and I'm not at the base of my plot yet, I want a review of it.
My main character is named Kohaku, who escapes from a research facility and goes back to his home town to find his friends, but upon finding the base empty and meeting an old companion Tobi the bat, he learns that they went to the city across the ocean to work amongst the higher ups, in order to find him when he disappeared 4 years prior to the story. He visits Grandma Lin (his caretaker from when he was a baby), so that her grandson Yuki to fix his sword that was broken during his escape. After having it fixed into a hunters knife, and repaying them by fixing the water problem in their town, he goes to the city to find his friends, and help with another of Grandma Lins favors. In short after this, he manages to find his friends, but also get caught up with a villain who wants to make himself a god by traveling to the Inbetween, and absorb the current gods power. And this man seems to know what Kohaku is, and is trying us his powers to get there. So he sends his henchmen, each who represents a basic element, to capture him. But the captures are prevented by his friends, the Five Lords, their Retainers, and other allies. So all the while, Kohaku tries to find out who, or what he is, and why he is connected to the God of this world.

P.S: the powers in this world are based on Elements, like the basic, fire, wind, water, earth, and lighting, though there are other types that are combined Elements like, poison, wood, plant, steel ect.
Reply
:icondragonmon24:
dragonmon24 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
can u  help me with my story star-burst
its about a boy named zack who was a normal kid who was the best at soccer and sketching and a had a normal life as a 15 year old, his parents are always on adventure so hes with his sisters (millieand ruby) he always keep his lucky charm that fell the shy like a star,he found one day.he  was until he kept having a dream  and he heard a voice calling to him everyday getting weaker.he then finally went after it and found a small dragon injure named dracon, he was one the survivors of his planet being destroyed. they both found out by a dark vortex hunter  that wants to kill the small dragon, zack stands in his way and so he decided  to destroy him too but  dracon jumps in the way and then zacks charm glows and blinds the hunter to reveal a warrior thats like dracon ,the hunter leaves and then  the warrior splits into both zack and dracon ,it happens that dracon is healed and able to become his real form.it also seems that zacks charm is a star gem that gives  power to the strong and brave , he tells zack that his planet was destoryed and him and several others escaped to earth but not before facing the hunters that stole their battle forms and power.so he asks zack if he can help him find his friends before the hunters, he thens ask zack to become partners and forms a contract together so they can  bethat warrior now named crimson dragoon.so now zack and dracon are on a hunt for the last survivors of his planet before the hunters and fight back.

so this it a friend of mine said its like megaman starforce but its modern not future. 
Reply
:iconspaztastyck:
SPAZTASTYCK Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you for putting this up! It made creating my manga plot so much easier. I'd hate to be so bothersome, but is it okay if I ask your opinion on my story? Any advice or criticism is welcome, I will accept anything to make my story the best it can be :)

The story centers around Akiri, who is someone who prefers to be by herself mainly because she is shy, and her passion in life is reading. She's seventeen years old, and spends most of her time at the library where she works. One day, while she's organizing books, she finds an old book called "Dragonia", which had fallen behind a shelf and appears to have been there for many years. Looking for something to read (because she read everything else in the library :3) she takes it home. Little does she know, that the book is actually a magical portal to the world of Dragonia, a magical world with medieval themes and filled with many different landscapes. Upon arriving there, she gets lost in the forest, in the process dropping the book down a river and soon captured by these mean creatures called Koburo. She manages to escape her cage, and whilst escaping she sees and decides to free this dragon that the Koburo were keeping in tied up in their camp. To make an even longer story short, she befriends the dragon, Zerax, and to repay her for her freeing him, he takes her with him to find his sister, who has been kidnapped by the ogre king, King Gaurmosh. And lucky for Akiri, King Gaurmosh has the last book portal! (still working on a name for the book portals, whatever suggestions you have would be great! :D Thank you!)
Reply
:iconrikaroxwood:
RikaRoxwood Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2013

Thanks for reading my journal. And don't worry about being bothersome. As long as I have time, I'm always be willing to help you.

 

This is a great start BTW! The only thing I'm worry about is the possibility that Akiri defeats the orge king, gets the last book portal and resumes to her normal life. That's the part I find it cliché as this normally happened in RPG plots. There is a certain part of the story where I find it a bit cliché, in the sense that the protagonist travels to a different world (possibly a dystopia) where (s)he has to play a hero/heroine role to save that world from danger / evils (or to solve a major problem in that world). Examples include The Chronicles of Narnia, Tsubasa Chronicles etc... I normally prefer the protagonist travels back (to her world) and forth to Dragonia, instead of her stucking in Dragonia throughout the story. Furthermore I think that that the adventure should be focusing how she overcome her shyness or anti-socialness.   

Reply
:iconspaztastyck:
SPAZTASTYCK Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you so much for replying! You have no idea how helpful you are! :D

And yeah I had that same idea. I thought that more conflicts could come up, ones that affect both Earth and Dragonia. These could split off into different arcs, like evil creatures from Dragonia spilling into Earth and causing problems and other things. And yeah I had the same idea with the book, like she and Zerax (the dragon dude) would travel back and forth. 

And I like the part about how she overcomes her shyness and anti-socialness, I wanted that to be a big part of the story, as she relates to me in that sense so I thought it would be nice to describe her journey and the changes/maturing that take place in her. 

I started on the first couple pages so when I put them up you can see them! (If you have the time that is!) Again, thank you so much!!! :D
Reply
:iconthelegendofzelda5432:
TheLegendOfZelda5432 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013
Can someone help me with my story pls btw is it bad to use cliches but anyway my story is about a young girl that lives on an island I haven't figured out a name yet but she's in her teen years like 16 or something anyway she lost her memory and washed up on the beach unconcious what she doesent know is that she escaped from a war that could have destroyed the whole world these two guys were fighting over her the wizard is named kaii and the other guy who is the prince is named aster. but they were fighting not just because of the girl but because aster waz born from a demon who fell in love with his father the king the legend goes that kaiis grandfather who waz a great wizard fought this demon to the death over a hundred years ago and kaii found out about it and wasent too happy and so he's bent on destroying aster and protecting the girl (btw the girl waz kissed by both of the guys so now she's totally confused and all that crap) the guys were about to destroy the whole kingdom but somehow the girl managed to pull off an extremely hard spell and trapped the two guys in a shell of adamante which only she can brake and at the end of the manga this guy comes and finds her and battle monsters along the way to descover were the secret kingdom of adamante when they find it though all her memories come back and she unfreezes them but the guys keep fighting and then idk what to write
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:iconrikaroxwood:
RikaRoxwood Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2013

I know this is something I shouldn't intervene, but I'm really having trouble 'digesting' your story. Either because your story is getting to the part where it's getting too complicated or there're hardly any full stops / periods in any of those sentences. Furthermore my reading ability is limited as English is not my first language. But I'll try my best to understand your plot. 

 

I find that a protagonist who suffered from memory loss at the beginning is cliché, especially the part where she has no memory to begin with. I personally would prefer that she loses few months of memory or the fact that she is unable to recall a certain events due to trauma.

 

Based on my understanding of the your plot, this is a story where the girl (who lost her memory) and a guy X went on an adventure together and they both stumbled on a secret kingdom where the girl recovered all her memories. In her memories, she has (kind of)a complex relationship between guy Y and guy Z. Guy Y and Z fought each other not only because of the girl, but also for personal revenge (something like Guy Y's grandfather killed Guy Z's mother). However their epic fight almost caused the whole kingdom to be crumble / destroyed, but luckily the girl stopped the fight by sealing them off along with the kingdom. Back to the present, she unseal them but the guys keep fighting and so on...

 

I think the plot has some potentials, however I got confused to why the girl decided to unfreeze the guys. Maybe she feels bad for trapping them for years or she thinks that the guys might decided to move on after that. For me I would love to see the girl as a peacemaker rather than the center of the love triangle.

 

 

Reply
:iconyankeesfan33:
yankeesfan33 Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013
Hey i've just recently started working on my first ever manga "Majii". Its about a teenage boy (14) and his name is Asuro Maest. In a world were people use magic to create magical weapons known as Uubi which are then made into weapons such as pistols, swords, etc. Now, Asuro goes to the Sorcery Majii Academy (SMA) which teaches all students to control and how to use their Majii wisely and how to create their own spells while using their Uubi. When its Asuro's turn to present his knew spell that he created himself along with his dual pistols men with black suits walk in the classroom and tell his teacher Sai that Asuro has been summoned by "Lord Wiz". Finally he arives at Lord Wiz's castle. He walks in and Lord Wiz is with 2 other people.... The Legenday Onajo Elders. They tell him that Lord Wiz is going to die in a few days and so does Lord Wiz himself. It was told that when Lord Wiz dies he must grant his powers to one lucky person. And so The Onajo Elders and also Lord Wiz use Majii wave link, which makes the person who is getting the Majii absorb all of it. Now with all of Lord Wiz's Majii Asuro must get special training to control and use the Majii.                         
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:iconrikaroxwood:
RikaRoxwood Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013

Hi, I'm not sure what you need help with. If you are just asking for feedback for your story plot, continue reading... [otherwise reply me with another question]

I know that you are putting a lot effort in the story, but personally I find the story cliché and it is more like a RPG plot. To me, this is a story about a powerful person or a person who just won a lottery and start to receive VIP treatments. Try to create a story that connects the readers, something that they can related to. For instance, we all get kind of envy when we heard news about people winning lottery (mostly from rag to riches). We even wonder how the lottery winners spend their money on. There are times when we wish that they are generous enough to share their winnings with us or donate all the winnings to a charity and resume their normal lives. Sometimes we even get frustrated and envy when they spent most on the winnings on luxurious goods such as private jet or house that is worth $50 millions. There are times when we are wondering why we are not lucky as they are. So I were to write a story, I would write about a protagonist whose best friend is a lucky person who gets to absorb the Magii from a legendary elder, and the fact that he's quite envious about him.

 

 

Reply
:iconyankeesfan33:
yankeesfan33 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2013
Thankyou so much i've changed the part in which he's just lucky to get all of Lord Wiz's Majii into.. " 3 months ago the Onajo Elders and Lord Wiz himself had decided that he must give away his majii to a new host, due to the fact that he is weak and someone must purify the majii and learn to control it, so when Death rises( Death was a reaper, who turned against Lord Wiz( i will make a reason why soon), Asuro was chosen, because the Onajo Elders saw a vision of a young man fighting of Death, and it was him Asuro." Hope you like please give feedback :)
Reply
:iconrikaroxwood:
RikaRoxwood Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2013

That is a bit better. However I still feel that the story is still cliché as I have seen couple of similar RPG plots out there, especially the part where there is a powerful antagonist out there and the hero is destined to defeat him/her (which ends with the hero defeated the antagonist with the help of his supporting allies).

 

I felt that your plot needs more twists, like more surprising and unexpected events. You can read more about it in the wiki page en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plot_twi… (I felt that this article is quite useful for you). It will probably give you more ideas. Let me give you an example of a twist: what if the vision the Onajo Elders saw is a fake?   

Reply
:iconyankeesfan33:
yankeesfan33 Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2013
But im trying to make the main character outstand more than anyone else, how can i apply a twist? Im really new to this, and now stuck help. I do understand a plot twist like in Naruto, everyone all thought Sasuke and Naruto were gonna fight, but now they're actually allies now.
Reply
:iconrikaroxwood:
RikaRoxwood Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2013

Like I said before, a twist is when something that happened in an unpredictable manner.

Applying some twists need creativity: and this means more brainstorming, more inspirations, and more experimenting.  Unfortunately this is something I couldn't help you with because I have troubles explaining this kind of stuff. However there are plenty of resources out there by just using google search and here are some decent ones:

writeitsideways.com/5-tips-for…

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_…

blog.janicehardy.com/2010/03/e…

There are plenty of good articles that will teach you how to apply twist and I recommend that you check them out. I added a link for my google search result for plot twist: www.google.ca/#fp=f188eceab59c…

Reply
:iconyankeesfan33:
yankeesfan33 Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2013
OMG YES I FINALLY GOT IT!!. I've completely changed the whole entire main plot. Asuro Noburo is a teenage boy who lives in the country Merlin. Asuro is a cool, hardworking student at the UMA( Uubi Majii Academy). His dream is to lead his own guild one day, and make it number one in the whole entire world. Asuro lives in a world were people use Majii to create special weapons known as Uubi and can increase their Majii to make it more powerful, and also to create their own guild. Students from the academy can only join a guild,  once their Majii is atleast 9 ranks. Asuro's majii rank increases by 12 and notices its past 9 ranks and can finally apply to a guild. Asuro apply's to a guild in the city (dont have a name either yet) due to the fact, the main guild, in the main city will have to many people to apply there. Asuro goes through many challenges and courses so he can apply to "Meister" a guild only for people with Majii ranks 29 or above. Asuro makes a friend on the way Ryuichi who suggest he join his friends guild "Effect". That is all for right now im trying to make out for the rest please leave feedback always helps, and thank you :D
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:iconrespectlo:
respectlo Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014
nice plot xD
Reply
:iconyankeesfan33:
yankeesfan33 Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2013
I meant difficulties when i put "cources" woops. 
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:iconyankeesfan33:
yankeesfan33 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2013
Ok thankyou so much, I've changed the part were Lord Wiz must give his powers to one lucky person, you're right its like winning the lottery. So i've changed it a bit. " It was made a decision by the Onajo Elders and Lord Wiz himself that Death (A reaper who is very powerful and once took the souls of many and was unstoppable but, taken down by Lord Wiz with his ultimate Wiz Force), will come back to bring the World upon his order, and the poor souls of humans to him. Since he is getting weak, he must give his Majii to a new host, who will purify the Majii and will learn how to control it, and use it protect the Earth when Death rises." Now ive made some more of the story please give more feedback: "Asuro will be training with Lord Wiz's apprentice Raiku Tamashi (His father was the 3rd in Command of Uubi Nights, but we'll get into that later), along with three other students from the academy Takahiro, Tori, and Ryu. They will help him with trying to control the Majii since its very powerful, and they will help compress it with their Majii when Asuro gets out of control. That is all for now please leave feedback and thankyou :)  
Reply
:iconieswilmo:
ieswilmo Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013  Student Artist

I need advice for my story :(

 

my story has too many characters like 50 they are all different. They are magical creatures each one of them have a different story about there life before they found out there power. Also there are 4 more groups that are also magical creatures. they have one thing in common they have a same enemy. they have to work together but it does not go well as they plan. there are 87 people have to work together each group have there own story also.

 

    My brother said that people will get confuse in my story which character is which?  

so answer me back please!  

Reply
:iconrikaroxwood:
RikaRoxwood Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013

I think there's too much characters in the story (I even think that you're trying to make a X-men related story or a story about a group of all Marvel Comics characters), and that is when your story starts to mess up because there's too much going on.

 

One thing you should do to cut down the number of characters by 80%-90%. Pick up your top 3-5 favourite characters (and please don't say that all your character are your favourites) and start working from there. You can even combine 2 or more characters to one. Ask your brother which one of your characters interest him the most?  

Reply
:iconmelreinh:
MelReinH Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
hoh. Very Helpful! I've been wondering what to do with my plot and characters. Currently, I'm still looking for my tips and advice on writing. I've thought up of SOOO many different plots/scenarios, and stuck with them for, at most, a year each. I then find it stale because everything I do is Repetitive. What you just posted let me see the General Idea of what I should do. 

"What do you like?"
"Which timeline do you want to set the plot in?"
"What type of world does the plot occur in?" 
"Describe your protagonist and his/her goal."

All of this explains what i need, while at the same time fulfilling what I want. Thanks a lot for posting this up! 
Reply
:iconrikaroxwood:
RikaRoxwood Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013
Thank you so much for reading it. I'm glad that you find this useful :) 
Reply
:iconnimosleops:
Nimosleops Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist

Hi first of all im really happy I found this :D I got a little striy idea but im stuck somewhere maybe u can help me a bit? :P

 

I started whith 4 main characters: Iyao,Mao,Leko and Khay (names can be changed)

Right, so Iyao and Mao are locked up inside a 2nd dimension that the government developped to keep criminals there. Both of them are accidentally locked up and want to get out. When they wander around the dimension they meet some real criminals trying to kill them. Iyao and mao are then saved by Leko and Khay. So Iyao thinks they are real criminals but it isnt true. Loke is actually a person trying to stop the government of using this method of prison. Khay is looking for his father who was also locked up in here for unknown reason. Here I am stuck a bit I dont wanna go whith the cliché of searching an exit or defeating a 'boss'. They dont have any special powers, they only use some weapons stolen from the criminals. So some help would be awesome!!!

Thanks in advance

 

Reply
:iconrikaroxwood:
RikaRoxwood Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013

Hi


Sorry about my reply. But I'm glad you managed to find my journal and read through it.


I really love your plot!!! And this is a really good start BTW. Here are a few ideas that might help:

- Yes, I find it cliché that the main goal is to defeat a 'boss', but searching for an exit is something to overlook at. One good example is a room escape game, and this is where you start to search for things (random things like nail polish) that help you to escape. I think that if you ever find a creative, never heard of, original method (rather than kicking all the criminals' and prisoner guards' butts like in One Piece) of escaping from prison, I believe that the story will be awesome. The only challenge is that you need to figure out why the protagonist is trying to escape, other than trying to prove your innocence (very cliche indeed!). If you don't like the escape the prison idea, stratch that and move on to the next one!

- Start focusing on developing your characters, both inside and outside. This is when you start to put yourself into your characters' shoes. Do not act like a Hollywood director/puppeteer who is trying to control the way the actors/actress should act / or the way the puppets should move. Like, hey I want my heroine and hero to get married at the end of the story. Let your characters have their own self-consciousness so that they have 'create' the story. I think you got some decent characters BTW, but try not to create characters based on stereotypes (like Luffy or Goku).

- Get some inspirations by reading books, watch movies etc. I'm not sure whether you heard about the manga - it's called Lucky Dog 1 Blast. It's heavily focus on prison-escape theme and I really love the plot. I am not telling you to make the plot exactly like that, but I simply recommend it for inspiration purposes and reading pleasure.

Hope that helps!

Reply
:iconnimosleops:
Nimosleops Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Well thank you! It really helped!
Reply
:iconbiobunni:
BioBunni Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I really enjoyed this. Can I get some feedback on a story I'm working on..?
My main character is twenty three years old, Alice Butler, an average college student dealing with depression. She lives alone in a flat that she can barely afford with her credit cards, not to mention college tuition making it only more difficult. She has a bad relationship with her parents after they divorced and the few friends she has are very distant. Her previous boyfriend domestically abused her before she managed to escape town. Many times she has attempted to commit suicide but with fail.
Then, Alice decides to advertise online for a roommate and that's where she meets her new roommate, Emma Ross, who changes her life forever. She begins to learn how to live, learn, love, and get out of her depression.
Reply
:iconrikaroxwood:
RikaRoxwood Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013

Hi sorry about the reply. Here is my feedback for your story.


Personally I don't think this is a really original story, but I think this is a great story since this is something that most people have experiences with and can related to. There is few particular reasons why I don't find it original and this is from my personal point of view (so don't take it too seriously). First of all there, are millions of non-fictional biographies and most of them talked about the challenges (bullying, depression) the authors faced in real life and how they overcomed them. Second of all this is a really, really common theme.There are all kinds of media talking about this stuff.

I remembered watching a reality TV show called Undercover Boss where the CEO undercovers as a new employee in his company and receives training from a supervisor (well, his staff). There was a time when the supervisor talked with him about her personal life, the fact she ran away from home, and then from her abusive boyfriend. I think she had financial problems (that why she didn't go to college or uni) and a bad relationship with her mum. But things start to turn around since she started working in that company. She became more confident and cheerful, and has improved her relationship with her mum.


Sorry about the random rambling... But there's nothing I could do to improve your plot. The only thing you should focus about is the content, the juice that flows out from your story. Most of the readers are anticipating how the protagonist overcomed his/her challenges. Remember that the protagonist's recovery is not progressing like a smooth upward hill slope, it's more like a roller coaster (full of ups and downs). For example, what if Alice is in a really bad situation and needs Emma by her side, but Emma is not available? What if there is a time when Emma got really annoyed with Alice's depression and want to take a break from it? What if Alice get jealous of Emma because Emma has everything that Alice don't have? This is something that you should think about. Good luck!

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:iconelectromechanicaluk:
ElectroMechanicalUK Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Hey, this was very helpful! It's helped me develop my characters and a basic storyline :3 please can I get some feedback on what to change and what to add? Ok, so my male protagonist is 23 year old Daryo Hale, who is serious, straightforward and determined. His parents had left him with his grandfather, because they said they were to young to devote their life to a baby and wanted to explore the world. His grandfather brought him up with love and care, and loved him to bits, and they always played together in the snow. They lived in the Halyte Mountains, where it always snowed and it was difficult for bandits to raid the village. On Daryos 13th birthday, his grandfather gifted Daryo his old blade, SnowStorm, powered by one of the seven gems of swordsmanship, a rare gem that is highly sought after (like a devil fruit). Daryo was really happy and was determined to join the council of the seven swords, a group of the seven best swordsman. Unfortunately, one day, bandits made their way to the village, laying waste to everything. His grandfather quickly hid Daryo when he heard the slams at his door and went it to be killed, but Daryo followed him, carrying his blade. So basically the bandits killed his grandfather, then he went into a rage and brutally killed all of them, but one of them turned out to be the son of a member of the council, and now there's a price on his head and he travels around getting team mates for his rebellion against the council, and running into all sorts of enemies. What do you think?
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:iconrikaroxwood:
RikaRoxwood Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2013
I think that this is just an ordinary RPG plot that most RPG games are using (if you read this article ([link])you will understand). Based on the plot, I can tell that you are a big fan of Dragonball and One Piece (or Naruto). The only part that I like is that the fact that 'he went into a rage and brutally killed all of them, but one of them turned out to be the son of a member of the council, and now there's a price on his head'. I quite like the idea that the protagonist have a sin (like massacre before the start of the story).

One way is to make the story interesting is to reduce the number of clichés in your story (if you read the first set of links that I provided at the end of my journal, you might spot some of the clichés). There are some good links (under 'other helpful ways to get the decent plot' section) that will solve most of your problem.

Another thing to improve is your characterization. I felt that your protagonist is almost similar to most typical shounen manga protagonist (like Naruto, Luffy etc). Furthermore there is a lack of depth in your protagonist, in other words your character is an one dimensional character. I was a bit surprised that your protagonist doesn't feel a bit of guilt 10 years after he killed the bandits and he wanted more revenge / rebellions and more bloods spilled. The fact that he want to start a rebellion against the council just because he killed the son of the council member and he has a bounty doesn't really make sense. If you read the reply I wrote to ~AgatsumaSoubi20, you might understand what I meant.

Try to put yourself into your protagonist's shoes. After your protagonist has performed a massacre, what is he thinking right now? Is he like 'hey, this is what happened if you killed my granddad'? Does he think about the sin that he have committed and ever feel guilty about it? Does he ever consider about the fact that the bandits have their own family (like wives and kids) to feed? Does he wants to redeem himself for the sins he committed? This is what you need to think about when creating a character. There is a decent article ([link]) that will help you to do that.
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:iconagatsumasoubi20:
AgatsumaSoubi20 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This was quite helpful. Thank you for putting this up!

If it's alright with you, could you give me a little feedback on my plot? I've been planning it for about five years and need an unbiased opinion.

The story is sort of a drama/fantasy placed in an alternative world where part of the world's population have assorted powers and Christianity is fading away as more people turn to other places for hope.

The story takes place on a set of islands ruled by a faceless king. After awakening from a four year cryogenic sleep, a young flame-bending female finds that there has been a price placed on her and others like her by the king. With the help of an extreme Christian, a womanizing psychic, and a few other characters, she sets out to take down the king. Along the way, she is forced to grow up in order to deal with the challenges of opposing a higher power.

What she and the rest of the islanders are unaware of is that the king had been missing for four years and replaced with a sinister imposter. He not only want flame-benders gone, but he wants control of the three known to have
the power to overthrow him (the flame-bender, her lighting bender brother, and the clone of the lightning bender).
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:iconrikaroxwood:
RikaRoxwood Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013
Personally, I think this plot is pointing toward to more of the plot for RPG game instead of refreshing, original plot. To me, a RPG story involves a protagonist going on a quest on his own, gathering allies to fight with him, getting stronger as time go along and fighting with an ultimate boss before the story ends. In order for get an original story plot, you need to break out of the cycle of cliché RPG plot (even though you're not making RPG game).

First of all, you need to put yourself in your protagonist's shoes (let's say that the protagonist is a flame-blending female). Find out why she decided to take down the king and try to relate that to yourself in the real world situation. What if you just woke up from a 4-year coma and you are in the FBI most wanted list? Unlike your protagonist, you don't have any supernatural power. Here are the options of what you could do:
- take down the head of FBI (your protagonist might do that)
- find out exactly why you are in the most wanted list
- surrender to the FBI and try to defence your innocence to them
- run away and hide

You need to do the same thing with your antagonist (i.e. put yourself in your antagonist's shoes). If I were the antagonist, I would try to gather more allies to support me and heavily sponsor R&D sectors (so that the scientists can find ways to remove the power from a person, or they can create a supernatural army that only listen to my command).
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:icontigerstar2000:
Tigerstar2000 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013
Hey, that's cool! Your advice are really helpful! I'm working on a story myself. Thank you so much.
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:iconomt8:
omt8 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Student General Artist
Can you help me?

My story is about 3 people,2 boys and. one of the boy's sister .The boy gets ice powers and tries to hide it but his sister and friend which is the other boy finds out
can you improve it
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:iconrikaroxwood:
RikaRoxwood Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013
Hi

Sorry about the late reply. I got really busy lately and haven't got time to read my messages.

I like the fact that you started off with a simple story, which gives you plenty of rooms to add more details to the story. I'm not quite sure what is the tone or the genre of the story. Is it a sitcom? Or is it a dark fantasy?

To improve the story, you need to find out how the boy gets ice powers, why he wants to hide it and what happened when his sister and friend found out his power. For example, the boy found out that he inherited the power from his ancestor, which was the Snow Queen. Due to his experience of watching a lot of science fiction movies, he was afraid that one day a mad scientist might kidnap him and perform experiments on him. That's why he decided to hide it. After the sister and friend found out, they decided to 'take advantages' of his power by making unreasonable requests that involve using his power: the sister wants a ice sculpture of a unicorn while his friend wants a ice castle (so that he can earn money by charging overrated entrance fees)
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:iconomt8:
omt8 Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2013  Student General Artist
What is a sitcom?
I'm not really sure about what genre the story is though.It might be fantasy I guess.

I like the idea about the ancestor being the snow queen, but I don't really want to like the idea of what 'advantages' the other boy and his sister makes.

I gave them names a couple of days ago.
Boy with ice powers - Terry
Sister - Lucy
Other boy - Kai (not sure if this is a name)
Are these names good enough or do you have any better names.

Anyway Terry has ice powers.His sister,Lucy, and the other boy(Kai) which is his best friend also gets powers but don't know that until the powers activate on their own.They visit another parallel world.People over there call them the Elementos due to a fact that there was a story that three people would come and save that world.(I have not got a name for that world yet)

At the same time another person comes and he also gets powers.He is also known as a famous terrorist.He wants to gain world domination of the parallel word and Earth.

Is this a good story-line to start off with?

And thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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:iconrikaroxwood:
RikaRoxwood Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013
Sitcom is a genre of comedy ([link]), not a fantasy. Examples of sitcoms are Friends, How I Met Your Mother, The IT Crowd, 30 Rock etc.

I'm afraid that I'm no expert at naming characters. For me, naming a character is just like naming your children or pets. Here is a good resource of naming your character - [link]

I felt that your storyline lacks originality and have a lot of cliches. For instance, the antagonist desired world domination and the protagonist & his friends are the heroes that will defeat the antagonist and save the world. I have heard this kind of story many times. The only thing I would suggest is to try experimenting, take risks and write something different. Don't be afraid about whether people will like your stories, characters etc because this is your story after all. Keep trying and good luck :)
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:iconomt8:
omt8 Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013  Student General Artist
That is true that my plot style appears in most plots like shonen.

I don't know what you mean by lacking originality but I was really inspired by the plots of the manga shows Bleach and
Dragon Ball Z.

What can I add into it to make it different to other shows?
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:iconrikaroxwood:
RikaRoxwood Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013
For me, originality means something fresh, something that stand out among all. I really like watching shounen anime, but for most of the shows (like One Piece, Bleach, Naruto) I stopped watching them because they are getting a bit boring, cliché and predicable and the shows do not keep me intrigued. Why they are predicable? That's because I used to watch Dragonball first before the rest of the shounen animes. Most of the popular shounen manga are heavily influenced by Dragonball, thus it is easier for me to predict what will happened next. There are a few decent shounen manga with original plot, one example is Full Metal Alchemist. If you read or watch it, you can tell that it stands out among all shounen manga. But this doesn't mean that you should write your story plot exactly like Full Metal Alchemist.

There are couple of ways to make your story plot different. One way is to reduce the number of clichés in your story (this [link] will help you). Your story plot is your selling point and your job is to advertise it to the readers (like why I should read your book). Another way is to get some inspirations from different sources rather than sticking with shounen manga alone. For instance, you can read manhwa (Korean comics) or some classic novels (like The 3 Musketeers). You can also watch the movies, dramas or series.
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:iconomt8:
omt8 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013  Student General Artist
I recently watched Death note as well so I decided to add a piece of a detective story into my story but I'm not sure how I would do that and is it a good idea?

I might add some comedy from time to time but I'm a person that likes a lot of comedy but can't create any funny scenes or jokes.

I'll get some feedback from my friends on improving my story-line but I get worried someone might steal my idea since I worked on my characters on how they act like and look like for over a year.

I'll also try to watch as many films as I can.
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:icon7penguinprincess7:
7penguinprincess7 Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow this is really useful! Glad I found it!
Do you mind reading over my story plot? It's been stuck in my head for a while and I'm not sure if it's good.

It's about a girl who get taken to a far away planet. The planet has been taken over by a small group of aliens who go planet to planet destroying each and taking their resources. They already killed the 'king of the planet and the queen is missing. Once the girl gets there she's nearly killed. She manages to escape but she's stuck so wonders the planet. Later she finds out that she's the daughter of the king and queen so she tries to find the queen and help her take her home back.


I cut out a few parts because I thought it was too long ^^;
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:iconrikaroxwood:
RikaRoxwood Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012
Hi

Personally, I find the story a bit cliche as there is a bit of Sailormoon and Fushigi Yugi's elements in it.

How about this? A small group of aliens destroyed Earth and took all the resources like they did to other planets. Furthermore they destroyed most of the humanity and turned the remaining humans (including the girl) into slaves. The human slaves are taken to another planet to serve a alien general who is currently taking over the planet (well, he's the one to kill the king). The queen is currently missing. The queen has a great influence over the citizens of the planet thus there are a lot of resistance going on, which frustrated the general. The general decided to find and kill the queen, by doing so he made the girl into a bait. The girl is forced to impose as a missing princess.
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:icon7penguinprincess7:
7penguinprincess7 Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Really? I never bothered to watch Sailor moon or Fushigi Yugi... Anyway thanks so much for your help, you gave me a lot more ideas as well for the story. :aww:
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:iconkyoustance25:
KyouStance25 Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012
Uh by the way... ~RikaRoxwood, When I start a manga with a plot and I already make the characters, I always failed to make it... But I want to be a manga-ka in the future! Please help me with your tips!
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